I think when someone has power and control over someone else, that person has a responsibility to remember that what they say and do, affects the person beneath them, in ways they may not realize. Have you ever had a boss, who made a joke at your expense, and then you know, you kind of have to laugh at it, because they are the one who controls your life in a vital way. Do you really think it's funny? Does it help your relationship with that person? Or do you feel slightly dirty and resentful at having to participate in this farce? Do you feel like you trust them less? Like you don't know what they are going to do and whether or not it might actually hurt you... even if it's "funny"?
Imagine this scenario... you have a weekend getaway planned with your sweetheart... it's been planned for months and you can't wait to go. It's very important to you. The whole office knows you are going. Then your boss calls you into the office and tells you an important contract has come up, and it's absolutely critical that you stay and work that particular weekend. Could you please reschedule your weekend for another time...
Your heart is pounding. You don't want to jeopardize your job. You don't want to upset your boss, but there is NO way you are going to reschedule this weekend, it's too important to you. You're throat is dry and your heart is racing. You look at that stern face and clear your throat and tell your boss that of course you're a team player and you'll do it - while your heart is breaking inside... or you tell this person there is no way and some people might burst into tears... or perhaps yell... but then... hahah - the boss announces that they were just kidding and go have a great time!
The relief is palpable. The adrenaline starts to ebb but do you really think it was funny? Do you appreciate the humor? Are you able to get one back on your boss - what if your relationship is very clear that this boss is in control and you know it's really not okay to do any such thing to them? The boss shows you the web cam and laughs heartily about the stricken look on your face, swinging the display so you can see the whole thing. He e-mails it out to the rest of the office and announces it's going to be part of the year-end national company Christmas video. Are you embarressed? Do you think the boss really thought about your feelings and or cared how you felt in this "joke".
What if your boss was your father in law? Or your father? Would it feel any better? Maybe even worse?
What if the boss was your parent, and you were actually a child. What if the joke was just that they ate all your halloween candy and they filmed your reaction and sent it in to a national tv show. When you cried, they would tell you to toughen up. And maybe that they were teaching you a lesson about over reacting. Maybe they are trying to tell you that you shouldn't trust anyone, because you never know when they are trying to make you look like a fool so they can laugh at you. Maybe they don't hear that your cries of anguish, are coming from your heart. Maybe they think you are "over reacting" because they never hear you and so you cry harder hoping maybe someday, they will somehow comprehend.
Children are people too. And their parents are the center of their world. Parents have power over them - in so many ways and as parents we need to remember that. The child needs your love, understanding, kindness and guidance. Practical jokes should never be at someone else's expense. Especially not someone you profess to love and care for. If it isn't something we can all laugh about together with genuine joy - it's just really not okay.
And yes, people really did do that. It made me sad and inspired me to write this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YQpbzQ6gzs&sns=fb
